May, come what may

It's May. Seems I barely blinked and April was over.

May brings good things. The warmer weather is a boon to any and everyone. Golden Week, a week with 5 consecutive national holidays, starts in just half an hour from the time of me writing this. My sister will be coming tomorrow, and for once without one of our parents slowing us down or holding us back from enjoying time together in Japan. Travel, good food, and a bit of craziness surely await.

May is also coming with some foreboding this year though. Now is the time for me to start getting ready to leave. I'm sending winter clothes home with my sister. Debating what else I should weigh her down with to save me the shipping...my scanner? My guitar? What will go back and what will stay here? What things should I be preparing to part with? The answer to that, of course, is everything. My home, my work, my friends, my LIFE for the past three years...it's all going to change.

The opposite side of separation anxiety is the re-entry anxiety. Where will I live? What will I do for money? Will I still have any friends stateside?

May is here, full of golden glory but with a cold panic at the edges, slowly beginning to seep in. I'm uncertain how much attention I should pay those two opposing feelings. I want desperately to ignore the panic, but I know that will make it grow that much faster. Yet, I don't want it taking over the final times I have to enjoy what I have here.

Current coping strategy:
One day at a time.
Breathe.
Repeat.