Down and Back Up Again

It's no secret I've been seriously homesick of late (and if you didn't know, you clearly haven't been paying attention).

When I decided not to go home for the winter break, I thought I would be fine. Thailand seemed like it would be a fun escape from winter blues, laying out on sunny beaches with a bikini and a good book. I really underestimated my need at a depressing time to make contact with family, to feel home turf beneath my feet. Rainy days at the beach certainly didn't help. As much as I wanted to have fun in Thailand, and as much as I did enjoy most of the trip, I found myself feeling pretty desolate at the end knowing I'd be coming home to Japan and not to America. I felt overdue for the comforts of home--the familial bonding, the sisterly affection, the home-cooked meals. It was as though I'd deprived myself by not making the trip home.

Thankfully, just when I was about to cave into total and utter depression in the bleak Japanese winter, I was reminded that Japan is also my home, also a place where I can be happy. Meeting with friends over the weekend who I hadn't seen in some time was great. They let me unload my stresses and distresses, and they shared theirs with me. We went out and saw cool "Japan-only" kind of sites, discovered cool new corners of Osaka, ate delicious food, and danced the rest of the night out. This weekend was the first time in a while I enjoyed being where I was, and not wishing so hard that I was home. Finally, in the cold and dreary, I was reminded how enjoyable being at home here in Japan can be, how to get warm again inside and out.

Then, of course, I felt so good it was time to take the plunge, let my bank account take a hit and buy myself the MacBook Pro of my dreams. And yes, it's just as good as I could have hoped. Finding the PC and my new baby can talk to each other was another delightful surprise. Transferring will still take a while, but I'm actually enjoying the process so far, as opposed to the dread that kept me from buying the Mac for so long.

With the big mid-year conference in Kobe coming up (aka - everyone come to Kobe and party!), things are starting to really feel like they're supposed to. I can try to stop counting down the time til I leave Japan and remember how to enjoy it.

Figuring out what to do AFTER Japan...that's where the stress is gonna be, hehe. But one thing at a time.